I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
