im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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