I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
