What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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