i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
