why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
