Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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