You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
