he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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