Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
