awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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