try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
