it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
