I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
