no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
