So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
