At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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