i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
