You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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