My room smells like vodka and shame
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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