Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
