I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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