How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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