Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize