Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
