It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
