what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
