is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
