he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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