I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
