just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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