ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize