You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
