Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize