Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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