I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
