My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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