so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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