Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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