fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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