thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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