I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
