I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
