Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
