Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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