She said her name was "party"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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