soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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