remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
