i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
