whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
