So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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