Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize