the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
