This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
