There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
