We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
