the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im holly from the hills drunk
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
