Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize