i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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