You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it hurts more in the daytime
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
