You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Randomize
