everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
soo... how was my night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
