How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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