you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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